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Dear Reader,
Last week in Sedona, Arizona, at my week-long ACT Experiential retreat for therapists, we savored the warm sun on rocks, knowing that shorter, crisper days were coming. Research out of UC Berkeley shows that when we acknowledge that life is unpredictable and changing, we are more likely to savor it.
Savoring helps us better cope with uncertainty, builds stronger relationships, and increases creativity and overall well-being. Seasonal shifts are a reminder to savor the sweetness and the sorrow that comes with change.
In Episode 89 of Your Life in Process, you’ll learn five ways to savor.
This is the one I’m trying out this week.
Savor Growth |
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Intentionally savor how far you have come. Spend time with your journal, a voice memo, or a good friend/therapist and reflect:
- How have you skillfully adapted to change?
- What is one habit you have been successful at changing?
- Which relationships have you deepened?
- What new skills have you developed?
- What is something you know now that you didn’t know before?
SAVOR YOUR GROWTH
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How to Evolve With Change
3 Wise Effort Tips
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>>> VIOLATE YOUR EXPECTATION
There’s a term in exposure therapy called “the expectancy violation effect.” When you approach what you fear, and the outcome is different from what you expected, you support inhibitory learning (The outcome wasn’t as bad as I expected, so I can do it again!).
If you fear change or are avoiding doing what you need to do to make a values-based change, start paying attention to how your predictions were wrong! For me, that was going to Texas, getting on a stage, and having a blast! For you, it might be getting up early and going for a walk and finding you have more energy at the end of the day, not less! What expectancy do you want to violate?
P.S. This was the first time I’ve worn heels in a decade. It wasn’t as bad as I expected but…I’ll stick with flats next time!
>>> RESOURCE YOURSELF
Dr. Emily Sandoz, professor of psychology at the University of Louisiana, shared in Your Life in Process Ep. 90 that everything you do occurs in a context.
If you want to change a behavior, you need a nourishing context to support your change. Consider:
- What supports you in showing up as the most full, vibrant, juicy expression of you?
- How can you bring more nourishment (psychological, social, biological) into your daily life?
>>> ALLOW FOR A NEW ORDER
According to Brad Stulberg, we have it all wrong regarding change. The goal isn’t to get back to homeostasis. It’s to allow for allostasis.
Unlike homeostasis, which moves from order to disorder back to order. Allostasis involves a reformulation.
Order → Disorder → New Order
If you are in "disorder" right now, use your values to anchor yourself. Apply your acceptance and defusion skills to flow with change toward an unexpected and wonderful New Order.
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Wise Stuff
Join me online, in person, and at the grocery store!
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RESET AND RESTORE IN BLUE SPIRIT COSTA RICA WITH DIANA HILL AND LUCA CUPERY
This retreat draws from the psychological science of compassion, psychological flexibility, and yoga. Learn to be kinder to yourself, act from your truest values, and set up the life you want to live—all in a breathtaking beach-side location on the stunning Costa Rican coastline at Blue Spirit.
March 30-April 6, 2024
All-inclusive for the general public and clinicians.
Space is limited!
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PROCESS-BASED THERAPY 6-HOUR TRAINING WITH DIANA HILL, JOE CIARROCHI, AND SPECIAL GUEST STEVEN HAYES
Say goodbye to outdated protocols for syndromes and learn a revolutionary new approach to therapy. 5 CEs are available.
Join us live online!
Date: Friday, December 8, 2023
Time: 11:00 AM–5:00 PM Pacific Time
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I’M IN WOMAN’S WORLD MAGAZINE THIS WEEK!
If you weren’t sure that ACT and compassion were making it mainstream, this would violate your expectations! Go to your local grocery store and pick up Women’s World magazine to learn my tips on applying ACT, polyvagal theory, and compassion to holiday stress!
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Many blessings and more good to come.
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Diana Hill, PhD
Your psychological flexibility guide
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