Dear Reader,

I bought a hat with a heart on it from a local seamstress here in Santa Barbara a few months ago and have been wearing it around town.

Let me tell you—when you’re wearing a LOVE hat, it really makes you put your ducks in a row. You can’t yell at your kids or side-eye someone in the Whole Foods line when you’ve got “LOVE” stamped on your forehead. You have to practice what you’re preaching on your head.

The thing is, we don’t always show big love, especially not to the people we love most. And definitely not to the strangers (or semi-strangers) who might actually need it. Or the ones we could grow more love with, if we let ourselves.

LOVE is a big word. It asks a lot. Intensity. Vulnerability. Stepping outside of ourselves. But if you listen to the great thinkers, leaders, and spiritual guides of our time, love really is the answer:

So, how do we do it? How do we cultivate more BIG LOVE, without playing small, selling ourselves short, or pulling away when relationships get too… insert your personal kryptonite here: painful, intimate, embarrassing, irritating, hard?

That’s exactly what we’re digging into this month on the Wise Effort Show.

And BIG NEWS to go with BIG LOVE: my new book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, is now available for pre-order!

I’ve already received some big love for it. Here’s what Rick Hanson (who wrote the foreword) had to say:

I have a solo episode to kick things off this week—walking you through the Wise Effort method. And in the weeks ahead, you’ll hear from:

• An executive-turned-novelist on navigating big love after divorce (in Paris, no less!).
• A psychologist who specializes in psycho-oncology and was hit with both her husband's and teenage son’s cancer diagnoses. Talk about showing up.

In the meantime, here are a few takeaways to carry you into BIG LOVE right now:

Know what your relationship genius is—and what you have to offer.

• What strengths do you have to offer your family?
• What talents can you give freely at work?
• What interests send you into flow, and how can you double down on those with others?
• What lights you up, and how can you share that?

Know your relationship values.

• What do you care about most in how you show up? Get clear on that.
• Embody the type of person you want to attract.
• Stop waiting for someone to meet your needs. Show up fully, right now.

Use your energy wisely.

• Invest in positive energizers.
• Give less mental energy to relationship drainers.
• Learn how to center yourself and care for your feelings.

And finally, trust that BIG LOVE is already holding you—and all of us.

xoxo,

Diana

PS. Sending you BIG LOVE. And in return, I’m asking for some big love back:

​Pre-order my book ​Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most (it lands on your doorstep in September—you’ll love yourself for it).

Then forward this to three people you love, ask them to pre-order too.

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Dr. Diana Hill Your Wise Effort Guide

In the latest Wise Effort episode, I invite you to step into Big Love—the kind of deeply nourishing, energizing relationships that align with your values and genius without selling yourself short.

​Pre-order my book ​Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most

There are still two more sessions And, if you want to know more about how to face your fear, shame, and anger with values and compassion, don’t miss this masterclass (Saturdays, May 17 & 24) with my dream team, Steven Hayes and Rick Hanson. Get $49 off with this link.

Wise Effort with Diana in Costa Rica You can lock in your 2026 reservation for the Reset and Restore with Wise Effort retreat at 2025 prices. "Diana's retreat was worth every penny." - Matt Hurry, before prices go up for 2026!

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